I do not claim or pretend to be an expert at marital or relational advice! My marriage has had its fair share of bliss and hardship. I can say with experience, better marriages, the marriages you look at and say “wow, they love each other,” do not happen by chance. It’s not even about finding your long lost soul mate! Whoa what?!… I have seen some personalities naturally bow a knee to the other, and some will interact more like two rams butting heads for the sake of a dual. I relate more to the Ram analogy. Regardless of what kind of relationship you have, it takes two people being “all in” to cultivate a marriage that loves, honors and respects one another.
One of the greatest things we had ever done in our marriage occurred within the past couple of years! We decided there was no more sitting around hoping things would eventually align. We needed to get intentional! My husband came to me with something he wanted to start doing; it came entirely from his creative mind this time around! It was brilliant and intentional and I can’t take the credit one bit! He wanted to reignite our dating. But not in the ordinary sense of the word. It’s nice to go out to dinner once in awhile, but let’s face it.. the majority of the conversation is intertwined with the daily functions of home life, kids, and jobs. So he said let’s not just try to squeeze in a date once a week! Let’s date all week long? Huh?
He came up with a system that has revolutionized the way our relationship works!
We now have Spiritual, Emotional & Physical Dates every week! Let me explain:
Every Monday night we come together after we put Wyatt to bed, grab some coffee, our journals and our united prayer/vision journal we write in together. We then listen to a sermon, podcast, or read through a book together! We love Elevation Online and The Movement Church podcast. We call it our spiritual Date night! It has been amazing, and we can’t wait for Monday evenings every week! We continue with our devotionals in the morning either separately, or together, but this gives us a time to be extremely intentional with building our faith together through a specific time. It starts off our week with conversation, encouragement, and purpose.
Every week we go to lunch together or get coffee and just talk about life, our dreams, our plans, and all God is doing! This is a baby-less time! We check in on how each other is doing emotionally with life! This time has reignited our ability to listen to each other. Life is busy, but you both need moments of real connection/conversation.
Well, need I say more. Haha! Make time to get physical people ok, read between the lines…. (Oh only if you’re married) if not please hold off on spicing that aspect up.
These small steps have truly made our relationship stronger! It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it, as long as you stay intentional with growing in your relationship. Make the time to cultivate an atmosphere where love can grow, and depth can happen!