These words have swirled non-stop in my mind for months now…wrestling with God for clarity, and pulling my question marks into every conversation, and every open-ended phrase He whispers.
Lord, Nothing makes sense anymore…if ever there was a time to rip these tattered pages out of this story all together, it would be now. I am finally at the end of myself, my understanding, my ability, my strength, my desires, my dreams, my ambitions, my everything…
…and I have found that in this middle space, that’s exactly the point. He wants me fully depleted of ME.
Maybe you have been here? Or maybe you are currently staring at this blank wall with me? So how do you pray for open doors, when the door is nowhere to be found—and at times it can feel more like a box of isolated defeat.
How do you make sense of this? When you genuinely tried to do everything right, you went above and beyond; you sacrificed blood and sweat, and bottles of unseen tears and gut-wrenching heartache, for what? A dead-end road once again? This can’t be God…I must of missed it…again. He must have forgotten me.
I know how you feel truly. I have been on the edge of the unknown and in the pit of disappointment, far more than I would care to admit. Yet here in this place where He is unable to be traced, is the place where He is most assuredly working and digging the deepest.
Readying your heart for what’s to come, and making every aspect of your heart and life pliable once again.
Let me explain…
We often pray in alignment with our own will, our own desires, our own dreams…but when you are brought to the end of yourself, you finally surrender your will for His. This is where all those vain imaginations, and fleshly pursuits, are pinned to the cross…once and for all.
Oh, friends, this one thing is certain—faith will never make sense. Not to our flesh and blood.
Which reminds me…
I was mindlessly scrolling on Instagram one day when this quote and caption from Rick Warren came across my screen (ever so timely):
“When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust Him, you worship Him in the deepest way.”
Job remained faithful EVEN THOUGH NOTHING MADE SENSE. His faith was strong in the midst of deep pain: “God may kill me, but still I will trust Him” (Job 13:15 CEV).
That is a faith worth following, worth living, and worth exercising daily. That even in the midst of murky waters, we have faith in the God who is working beneath the surface!
So, friends, I don’t know what question marks you have been clinging to for dear life…I don’t know what continued disappointments are leaving you paralyzed to trust. I don’t know what grief is trying to swallow even the dimmest light…but I know this. God will keep His promises to you. He is a good God, and He will work all things together in HIS TIMING and for our good!
Please don’t dismantle your faith during the pressing—and waiting…you could be days away from the most significant breakthrough of your life.
Remember, it is impossible to please God without faith, so don’t lose heart…keep fighting the good fight of faith. There is a glimmering light at the end of this tunnel.
Can you see it? We are almost through!