I genuinely love people, and sometimes it’s at the expense of my own heart. Trust me I know how scary It is to step out. I mean let’s be honest, it’s heart-wrenching at times to put your best foot forward only to find your best just wasn’t good enough. I’m personally speaking about relationships, but this is very true for creatives too! It’s so vitally important that we reject our fear of stepping out and continue to expose our vulnerability.
Over the years I have become more seasoned in the art of approach. Yet the majority of my past interactions left me utterly terrified of that simplistic hello. If you came to talk to me we would be best friends, but me breaking the divide and coming to you.. well that was just another frightful step entirely. I lived this way for the longest time, all because of a few rejections I had experienced early on in my twenties. I could shrug it off as personality and a play on my shyness. Not to downplay those who struggle with being very shy, but fear I discovered has a lot to do with this aspect of us personally withholding.
Here is an example of a small rejection that often tries to paralyze our effort. I remember being at a conference once when I decided to get my brave on and go talk to someone I had admired and thought was definitely in the mutual friend zone. Well more like an acquaintance, but nonetheless I wasn’t deemed a complete weirdo by this person. I’m assuming… So as I approached this person To go in for a common friend hug, I found myself staring at her finger while she turned to chat and make conversation with someone else. As I stood there waiting (for a good while I might add) I felt a heat rush quickly canvas my face. Not only was I embarrassed for being dissed, but I was now turning a vibrant shade of red. Maybe she had needed more etiquette in how to respond in that kind of environment, but I remember thinking never will I put myself out there like this again! When finally available to interact with this person I found it was cold, shallow and quite humiliating. I knew I wasn’t part of the elite inner circle nor was I trying to be, but at that moment it made me feel extremely small. Have you evener been there? I remember walking away with a sting of rejection buried deep in my heart. This was a moment where you either let insecurity rob you of ever stepping out and being vulnerable again, or you feel the sting without denial and keep on treading.
I have learned a lot and experienced a lot since then, my heart now wouldn’t crumble in an instant like it once did. I have had quite a few more experiences with people of all kinds of different personalities since and have managed more severe bumps in the relational road like we all do. Yet still at times deep inside I can feel that young girl pulling away with her beat red face, retracting within my own fearful insecurities.
Rejection may sting, but the sting of unearthed friendship is worse. Fear wants to grip your heart. It wants your full embrace, so you don’t have the ability to embrace anything or anyone else. Reject Fear friends at all cost. People won’t always treat you the way you feel you deserve. That doesn’t mean you reject all the beauty that people, community, and friendship give!
Have I felt rejection since that day? Of course. I enjoy being liked, and I like when I feel my efforts towards relationships are reciprocated. I have never been extremely introverted to where I didn’t crave the company and words of others. I’m actually quite the conundrum in regards to all that. Yet now, I have learned to let rejection roll off my shoulder. It’s definitely a daily effort to walk without fear of what others think. Or to release offense towards some that may have never known they offended or hurt you. With time you realize to not waste life mourning the few when you could be impacting the many of others willing and desiring your friendship.
Step out today friends, that you may reject fear and embrace destiny!
And to all the creatives out there that penned those words long ago, let them fly off the pages and into the hearts of those around you! Let the world see the artistic beauty that you are! And if you get rejected by the few, just remember the many still in awe of what you carry!
In regards to rejection & fear: What fears or past rejections are you currently releasing in order to embrace destiny?