For as long as I can remember, I’d always been told I needed to be careful because my family is full of “Fertile Myrtle’s”. So when Nathan and I felt the Lord telling us to try and get pregnant we honestly expected to be pregnant within a few months.
You see I’m a planner (this isn’t new to any of you who actually know me) and we’d been telling everyone we knew that we weren’t going to start trying until after our third wedding anniversary, June 28, 2018. So when we felt God telling us to start trying in September of 2017, we chose to not tell anyone because we wanted it to be a surprise when we got pregnant.
From day one, I did everything by the book. We felt the Lord telling us to start trying on a Sunday and by Tuesday my pack of ovulation and pregnancy tests arrived in the mail. That same week, I went out and bought the top of the line prenatal vitamins. I started tracking my ovulation. I started reading articles on how to increase our fertility. I started working out more consistently and went on Whole30 to try to cleanse my body of the birth control I’d been on. I started reading every label on my beauty products and began buying more natural things.
I began praying for my baby. I started imagining what it would be like to feel my baby flutter in my stomach as I sat cross-legged on my couch. I started imagining what our nursery would look like. (I didn’t even decorate our guest room because I knew soon it’d be a nursery.) I even started teaching my dog to not jump on me when I came home from work because I wanted to prepare so he wouldn’t hurt baby. I started researching the best carseat, stroller, breast pump, monitor, etc.
I was prepared.
Month after month I would take my ovulation test and see it was positive. I’d get my hopes up that this was the time, then two weeks later would have my hopes shattered as I lay in bed with a heating pad on my stomach as tears rolled down my cheeks because I knew this meant I had to wait another month before I could possibly have a tiny human inside me. All the while everyone around me was getting pregnant. Within the first 3 months of me trying 8 women announced they were pregnant at my church (that only has about 150 people!). These were women I loved and I was so excited for them, but as their bellies grew, so did the deep pain in my heart.
The questions started piling up in my head.
“Is there something wrong with me, medically?”
“My body is doing everything it should, so why am I not getting pregnant?”
“I was only on birth control for a few years. Does it really take this long to get out of my system?”
“God I know you can heal, so why aren’t You healing me?”
“I know babies are a blessing, so why am I not getting mine?”
I started to feel forgotten as all my soon-to-be momma friend’s bellies grew and mine remained empty. My feeling of being overlooked by God only intensified as the months began to pile up…
After two years of trying my husband and I decided to go see a fertility doctor. I did hours of research looking for a fertility specialist who specialized in endometriosis, which is what I thought I had. As my appointment approached I was nervous but excited to possibly have some answers.
A month before my appointment I had someone give me a word from God. He said that I would have children and that I’d be healed of endometriosis. Now, absolutely no one knew that I had chosen a doctor who specialized in endometriosis except my husband, so when he called the disease out by name I broke into tears. I knew in that moment that God had seen me. In the deepest weight of my pain He was right there with me. When I had sat on the bathroom floor holding another negative test and wept, I knew He’d been right there with me touching my back and weeping right along side me.
A month and a half after I’d received that word I went to the doctor. They did some blood work, told me that all my symptoms pointed to endometriosis but she’d test me for a few other things in the upcoming months.
We never got around to any other tests because two weeks later I took a pregnancy test and finally saw two lines.
After two years of trying, I was pregnant.
Two years of praying and in a moment I was healed.
My womb was empty and with one touch from the Father my barren womb was full of life.
You see that is the beauty of what Jesus did on the cross. He died so I didn’t have to live with sickness. He took my disease and in return gave me healing.
I did absolutely nothing.
Jesus did everything.
And if He did it for me He can do it for you.
Friend, if you are needing healing know you are seen. You aren’t forgotten. Rest in the truth that your healing is paid for in full. You may not see it here on earth yet, but we have a great intercessor, Jesus, who is sitting at the right hand of the Father reminding Him of the blood He shed for your behalf. Your battle is complete, now you just sit back and watch the work of Jesus come to life in your situation.